Sigh. What can I say to ease the burdens of my heart? What can I tell myself to let go of the pain? “It won’t be like this forever. You will eventually not be alone anymore. Great will come from this awful reality…”
I come here to my writing because I honestly don’t have anyone to talk to. Somehow or another, as tears wellup in my eyes and overflow down my cheeks, I feel a tiny relief with the words I type out.
We’re told to talk to God, the Holy Spirit, Christ.. to ask Him to fill us with love, peace, strength, understanding… I feel like I’ve been asking for so long with no real answer.
How can I think anything but that God doesn’t think too highly of me? Sigh.
At least once a day I feel this void in my chest.. a reminder of my loneliness.
Oh how I wish I were dead. I’m so over this life. I look forward to nothing but sleeping and being alone so I can cry by myself.
Why, why do they fucking say God won’t give you what you can handle?? Until when do I have to handle this? I almost wish I had the balls to off myself.