Where is He?

I had no idea it were to be this way. I thought One’s 30’s were a magical time when your shit comes together and you make the most of life every morning. 

Maybe that’s the general consensus because most people do have their life and family well underway. Meanwhile I’m reaching for for anything that will give me motivation in the morning to get up and participate in life with contentment. 

God, I’m fucking tired of my non-single friends that don’t understand. 

I can’t justify just how fucking soul-crushing it is when I finally go on a date with someone I met off POF and it went well and I never hear from him again. Unless you’ve never been fully appreciated you’ll never know how hard life is. 

So I understand that we generally don’t look for God or a relationship with Him thru Christ unless we’re in troubled waters but this is nuts. I feel like I’ve barely been afloat for years and no sign of Him. 

It’s fucking with my Faith. How do I have Faith when I feel like a corpse living out my days?

It’s so hard. 

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